Sleepless Lions - Why sleep can have such a big impact on our parenting

I don’t think I truly knew what it meant to be tired until I became a parent! I’d heard other parents complain about how tired they were and naively thought it would be bad, but surely not that bad? I’m a nurse, I’ve worked night shifts, surely I will adapt quickly. Boy was I wrong! 

Parenting tired is a whole other level of tiredness. I personally think the term ‘slept like a baby’ should be banished as babies often sleep terribly and broken nights with frequent wake ups can commonly continue throughout early childhood. There are various reasons why young children wake regularly overnight - hunger, illness, habit, over-tiredness, under-tiredness, nightmares, toileting accidents - the list could go on but it all ultimately results in one thing, tired parents! 

Broken sleep has a massive impact on not only your physical health but your mental health as well. Less than 6 hours of sleep a night is classified as acute sleep deprivation and research shows that for 80% of parents it can take 7 years for their sleep patterns to return to pre-pregnancy levels, and that's if they don't have a subsequent child during that time! (Goran Medic, 2017). The physical effects of a lack of sleep can include increased sensitivity to pain, headaches, hypertension and obesity. But there is also a considerable mental health impact including impaired cognitive skills, anxiety and depression. 

Therefore it's no surprise that a bad night's sleep can have a massive impact on the next day's resilience. It can feel harder to deal with the daily demand of parenting and the little things can feel huge. It can be harder to stay calm for our children and we are more likely to argue with partners. 

Unfortunately there is no magic cure to get children sleeping a 12 hour night however there are a few things you can do to fill your own cup on those particularly draining days:

• Be kind to yourself. There is a reason sleep deprivation was previously used as a means of torture, its hard work and you're doing a great job

• Most things can wait. It took me a long time to realise that actually almost everything could wait. If you’ve got limited energy pick your priorities, the jobs will be there another day 

• Share the load - where possible. This might be asking your partner to take an evening shift but for a lot of couples or single parents this might not be possible. But don’t be afraid to reach out to your wider network. Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Friends can all be called on to help look after children or even give you a complete break. Some of my friends who don't currently have children of their own made the best babysitters, looking after my son downstairs whilst I got a blissful hour's nap in. 

• Rest is sometimes as good as sleep - When children have dropped their regular naps, it can be hard to find moments of quiet and the chance for a catch up sleep can often feel long gone. However, there is some evidence to suggest a 30 minute rest can also help boost energy levels. Try setting the kids up with a silent disco, or challenge them to build an obstacle course in the garden, anything that can keep their attention whilst you watch quietly from the sidelines. 

Those tired days can feel hard, but as everyone keeps telling me these days will pass quickly, so from one tired mama to another, you’ve got this.